Are you a single mother looking for a husband? In this post I am going to give you tips on how to go about it the right way and not the desperate and end up heart broken and lonely way. As a single mother I get that you want to be married BUT I also think that it can be dangerous for your search for a husband to turn into something where you are just frantically running around looking for any and every man that shows you a little bit attention.
As a single mom it can be lonely and very easy to step into the realm of giving men the time of day when they do not deserve the time of day. From single mom to single mom I get it.
You want to get married, you do not want to spend all of your time alone, you want someone to help you, you want a traditional family, AND there is nothing wrong with that. But more importantly, you want to make the right choice of choosing a good man that will be a good husband to you and a good father figure to your children.
So let’s go ahead and get into it shall we.
7 Tips You Must Know As A Single Mother Looking For A Husband
Single Mother Looking for a Husband Tip #1 Don’t Look Too Hard
Looking too hard shows desperation. Looking too hard will make you too hard up for a man. Looking too hard will make you accept any and every man that comes your way. And looking too hard will have you putting on the blinders when it comes to a man.
True story. A single mom friend of mine wanting a husband. But because she was a single mom, she did not get out as much. Therefore, when she did meet a man she automatically attached herself to him thinking that HE was the one and that was because HE was her only choice. Therefore, she overlooked a lot of RED FLAGS because she was looking too hard and therefore appeared too hard up for a man. When it was so clear from the jump that he was NOT the one. He did not really like her children, he was still in love with his ex, and he was not really even a good boyfriend.
She spent two years trying to make this man to the one when he was obviously NOT it and NOT really into marrying her. When they broke up she wondered where she went wrong. And it all came down to this, she was looking too hard and she was becoming way too desperate, so she just took the first man that showed her some attention and tried to make him her man. When really all signs pointed to that he was not a good fit for her in the first place. AND she wasted two years on him.
Therefore my tip to you is to remain objective, be open to a relationship, but do not go searching too hard for a man. Remember HE who finds a wife finds a good thing, not she who is looking frantically for a husband will find a good thing
Single Mother Looking for a Husband Tip #2 You Need A Man That Adds on and Not Takes Away
The other day I was on a Facebook group about relationships. I had a very interesting conversation to say the least. The conversation was how a man has been out of a job for YEARS. When he does find a job he gets fired. This has happened more than once and his girlfriend (not even wife) allows him to live with her and she provides for everything. His main point was his woman should be a ride of die through all of his shortcomings. Never mind the fact that she has consistently held a job throughout their relationship, something that seemed impossible to him….as a man. He felt it was HER duty to provide for him AND her kids since he had trouble keeping a job. Stop playing. I am sorry but as a single mom can I get a hell to the naw, naw, naw, naw naw. You are a single mom and you have children to provide for, so PLEASE do not bring another manchild in your house that takes away from you, your children, and not bring anything to the table.
Unexpected things do happen but in the end a man who does not work does not eat (see blog here). Do not want a husband so bad that you just let a man, any man, lay up in your house and he becomes another mouth to feed. You can do bad all by yourself, and you do not need a man to leech of you and take the money out of the house and out of your children’s mouths. Just like tip one I will reiterate tip #1 because I have seen it way too many times. Do not get so desperate and lonely for a man that you will just accept anything and everything because you want to be with someone. A good rule of thumb is not to bring the man around your kids if he is not the type of man you want your son to be when he grows up or the type of man you want your daughter to marry when she grows up.
Single Mother Looking for a Husband Tip #3 Be At the Right Place at the Right Time
I highly encourage you to read my blog on where single moms can find a good man by clicking here. In the end is it wise for you to go look for your future husband at a BYOB reformed crack house. Probably not. Therefore, you need to position yourself in places in which you can which good quality men hang out. Not only can you read my blogs on where single moms can find good men but also where single woman can find good men (click here). Where you position yourself can mean a lot about the type of quality men you meet.
Case In Point: I came back recently from a blog conference and I stayed in a hotel in Wall Street the financial distract. One my conference was done I decided to explore the area. It was about 5pm when people were getting off work in the financial district. There I saw tons of men, in suits, ties, going to nice bars for happy hour. AND they had a job and look well put together. I do not know if I would have had that same experience walking around in a bad neighborhood known for drug dealing. Where you position yourself to meet men can make a difference on the type of men that you meet.
Single Mother Looking for a Husband Tip #4 Do Not Let Yourself Go
I know as single moms it takes a lot of effort to take care of our kids and ourselves, but please for the love of God take care of yourself. I am know what you are a saying, if a man really loves me then he should love my inside. AND that is so true, but it can be hard to get to know your inside if on the outside of you looks like a bum.
I have written so many blogs about taking care of your appearance. If you want to face the world looking your best this does not mean that you are vain or you are too superficial. It just means that you care about what you portray in the world. After all, if you were going to a job interview I would hope that you would show up looking your best, not like you just rolled out of bed. You should approach finding a husband the same way. Also check out my blog on how to get your sexy back as a single mom.
Single Mother Looking for a Husband Tip #5 Be the Type of Woman a Man Wants To Look For
Remember when I told you that he who finds a wife, finds a good thing. That means you need to be a good thing worth finding. I get as a single mom it can be an uphill battle trying to move up in the world. But it is so important NOT to go about life doing nothing, having nothing going on for yourself, and your life is just a complete and utter train wreck from all angles. And then you somehow expect a good man to find you when by all definitions you are not a good woman and will not add value to his life. You cannot expect a good man to come in and rescue you from your shipwrecked life. You really need to bring something to the table. Bringing something to the table will allow you to find a husband worth having.
Also check out my blog on how to upgrade your life as a single mom. Also you can read this book by Gina Sayles (affiliate links). Do not let the book title deceive you about marrying rich. She was a single mom when she decided to upgrade her life (after being divorced twice) and she has some great tips on how to get your life together and meet good quality men.
Single Mother Looking for a Husband Tip #6 Don’t Give It up
I do not care if you are a single mom and you already have a child. Never feel pressured to have sex with a man because you want to make him your husband. In fact, I encourage every single mom to practice celibacy. The benefits of celibacy (click here to read my blog) are so clear. It will give you the chance to see without your lust goggles on what a man’s real intentions are and if he has good intentions for you are your child.
As a single mom looking for a husband, the last thing you want to do is to waste time with a man that does not want to be your husband. And not having sex with a man is a sure way to do that. This is not about game playing with your body. It is about seeing the real from the fake and who really wants to be with you beyond what is between your legs. If a man knew that he was not going to get any from you unless he married you, you would be so surprised on how many men would disappear. As I said in my single mothers who want to practice celibacy blog post (click here), that is what you want. You want a man who just values sex to be out the door and the man who wants something deeper to stay around. Which is what abstaining from sex will get you.
Single Mother Looking for a Husband Tip #7 Don’t let your house be a revolving door.
When you are a single mother looking for a husband do not jump the gun by thinking that every man you date is the one. Do not allow for every man to come in your house and meet your children. Also check out my blog on when to introduce your boyfriend to your children. As a single mom you have to protect your kids and introducing them to every single man that bats an eye at you is not the way. The last thing you want is for your house to be a revolving door of men. A revolving door of men picking you up for a date, meeting your kids, and then leaving your kids because it turned out they were not the one. It would NOT be fair to your children and it will give them the wrong impression of relationships. And that is men come and then sometimes they go. Instead, only introduce a man that you are sure if going to be around for a long time and is interested in marriage. Not a man that you been on a few dates with.
Single mom looking for a husband, I believe if marriage is what you want then God will give it to you. I also believe that God graces us with common sense and we do not have to jump for every man that we think may be the one. Use this tips to make it more likely that you are likely to find a good man that can be a good man to you and a good example to you and your children.
If you know a single mom that could use this information then please feel free to share it with them.
Last but not least
Did you know that I have a book specifically for single moms? To know more about my No Nonsense Single Mom’s Devotional then click here. Also click the picture below to Join my email list Sophie-stication Nation and find out how you can get the accompanying workbook and video for free. If you just want to order the book, then you can do that too by clicking here.